I have 5 living rooms

And no bed.

After finally working out how to change my address with the jobcentre, I rang them to sort it out. I am less than great with phone calls...
After I answered all the questions in order to confirm that I was me (and apparently knowing my mobile number is one of them, surely they could tell that I was ringing from it?) we moved on to questions about the flat. I excelled at these questions... Honest.

Advisor: "Do you pay [something I can't remember the name of]?"

Me: "What?"

Advisor: [Repeats previous statement]
Me: "I don't know what that is"

Advisor: "How many living rooms do you have?"

I heard: "how many rooms do you have?"

Me: "Five."
Advisor: "Five?"

Me: "No, four"
Advisor: [shocked] "Four?"

Me: [picking up on his shock] "I'm sorry, did you ask how many bedrooms I have?"
Advisor: "No, how many living rooms do you have"

[After establishing that I have 1 living room, 1 kitchen, 1 bathroom and 2 bedrooms he realised my earlier mistake.]

Advisor: "Was the last place you lived privately owned?"
Me: "I was homeless" [then I laughed, it's not funny]

So I have five living rooms and no bed, as when I woke up this morning I was on the floor. I've tried blowing my air bed up since but it has a hole in it. Not to worry though as my real bed gets delivered soon! … Or so I thought.

[Enter Argos]

They rang again this morning... they are not delivering my bed tomorrow, so for the second time they are rescheduling. I'm never going to get this bed.