Young, Single and Homeless

    That's me.
   Since being kicked out of my university accommodation (okay so that sounds a little harsh I'll rephrase) Since my tenancy ended, me and all my stuff (where the hell did it all come from) have been camped out in my best friends room, in her mum's flat. That was two and a half months ago, and remarkably after two and a half months of sharing a bed and a room we haven't killed each other, I should add, we are not gay.
   And after two and a half months of looking for a job, I am still jobless, nearing the end of my overdraft and in need of an actual flat.... [Enter Jobseekers allowance]

   I'd been putting this day off, and as a proficient procrastinator it wasn't hard. The main reason for this being judgement. People judge, saying you are claiming jobseekers, comes with subtitles that say "I don't want a job, I'm not actually looking and I'm lazy". That and I didn't think my parents would approve. The facts are though my overdraft is not limitless and it's called Jobseekers you know for people who are seeking a job.


   I don't know if you have ever walked into a room or a building where everyone in it knows what they are doing and except everyone else to also know what to do ( no? then you are missing out), well that is what it was like.
   I was early so I thought I'd check out the job machines, but the one I went to was out of paper and the next one had a broken touch screen. Typical. After finding one that worked I printed out some jobs and headed to the phones. Yeah because they were easy to work firstly it took me 5 minutes to find out how to dial an outside line, and guess what? It still didn't work. I shuffled one seat along and tried the next, yeah that didn't work either.


   I'd been nervous all day about having this meeting, but worry not, my nerves evaporated as my anger at being patronised grew.

 Quote time!

Interviewer: So what type of jobs are you looking for?
Me: Any
Interviewer: Okay, you need to choose 3 types that you are willing to apply for
Me: Errm I'm pretty much just apply for any job I can do
[Interviewer nods and moves on. 10 mins later.]
Interviewer: So. Have you got any jobs for me?
Me: Sorry?

Interviewer: You need to give me 3 jobs that you are willing to do
Me [off the top of my head]: Retail, Bar and Cleaning
Interviewer: Cleaning?? But you are obviously intelligent

So let me get this straight. You have to be stupid to clean that or I'm supposed to be picky about having an income?
Now to one of my favorites:

Interviewer: How could you look in newspapers?
Me [Thinking]: is this a serious question?

And finally when did it become okay to insult people?

Interviewer: You look tired

The meeting ended with her sliding a leaflet across the table titled 'Young, Single and Homeless' the gist of this leaflet was 'don't leave home if you are young and single' thanks but I think at 21 I should leave home. Oh and when did I slip back into 19th century because my marital status should not make a difference to whether I leave home or not.